Life lessons

The most annoying question on a birthday is probably, "And.. how do you feel with ... (number of birthday you are celebrating)? Do you feel older and wiser?"
(I always ask this question to people who have their birthday - sorry for that).

And of course the answer is no. Just because it is the day you happen to be born a couple of years ago, you are not wiser and you feel exactly the same as the day before.


But sometimes there are days... days full of life lessons.


Days that are so hard that you think they will break you.
Days that teach you that exaltation and anxiety are sometimes coming hand in hand.
Days full of confrontation, days that demand the plain truth, even if it hurts.
Days where right and wrong are just vague terms.

Dealing with days like that and not running away from them is what I am currently learning.
And sometimes I wake up in the morning and I feel older. More grown-up.

I still feel more like a child than a grown-up. And not wise at all.

But I am a work in progress.

Sunset in Riehen, Summer 2011

Things that make me happy #2

• Sitting in the bus, driving through beautiful Lancaster and listening to Noah and the Whale
• "I am carrying all the love of an orchestra"

• Reading "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller
• The idea of getting a day rider ticket and driving bus all day, looking at the christmas lights in everybody's houses
• This quote: 

• Finding a little bike shop and spotting the perfect bike for a reasonable price
• "Guess why I am smiling a lot? Because it's worth it."

The last days of fall...

This weekend I spent in Applebee (I don't know if this is how you spell it) and it was just beautiful. Here are some pictures... ah I love England.

Sonne und Wind.

via weheartit

I don't know if you ever experienced this, but this morning I woke up being angry.
My room felt to small to fit my anger so I went out for a run.
The sun was shining and there was a cold wind blowing.
And I asked myself, why couldn't there be just sun.
Why can't things just be easy.
Why can't I get everything right.
Just for once.

Just.

found at as for me 

via wehearit

Building a life.

On a walk through Lancaster last sunday

I love this expression. Building a life.
That's what I'm doing. Or what I want to do.
I want to find out, who I really am, what I want, what makes me happy, what inspires me.

I believe being here is just the right place to do this.
Far away from home, from all the people that know me and love me - but also sometimes put labels on me.
Here everything is new, like a white, blank page and I can find out what the title of this chapter of my life will be.
Even though it is scary sometimes and I still feel like a kid, that wants to hide in the arms of their parents and even though I feel alone sometimes - it is good to be here. It is the right way.
I am learning a lot about myself. And I enjoy the solitude. I enjoy my own company, hearing myself breathe, finally becoming calm and just enjoying life.
And there is this exhilarating feeling inside of me - the feeling of being independent. Being free. I do not have to make anyone happy except for myself.

The other day I read a quote on one of my favorite blogs, little reminders of love (I think I've mentioned it before) and it says:

"there are days i drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself."

-brian andreas

Exactly.

Dear November,

to be honest: you are not really causing good associations in me.
You are grey, cold and full of opportunities to wallow in self-pity.
I once heard your the month, in that most people die.
But I decided to give you a new chance to be the mother (or the father?) of 30 enlightening days. It is all a question of attitude, isn't it?

Anna from Little Reminders of Love inspired me to set some goals for this new month.

1. Become an eager beaver. Well... at least I will try to get my work done.
2. Look about for a bicycle.
3. Be aware of what makes me happy and go for it.
4. Take pictures.
5. Try to keep my chocolate consumption at a sane level.

Alright, my friend, I hope we will get along.
I'm excited for our time together.

via wehearit