this is my becoming.

one summer night in july i was driving home from work and everything felt a bit pointless.

the money i made never was enough, the job i work wasn't showing the best i got and the time i had did not seem like it was well spent - far away away from the fiancé, stuck in a never ending to do list.

despite those feelings i rolled the windows down, and sang along to my head and the heart cd that was playing:

the world's just spinning

a little to fast

if things don't slow down soon we might not last 

so just for the moment, let's be still

singing always cheers me up (i heard it releases endorphins). 

and i remembered a quote by cheryl strayed:

"the useless days will add up to something. the shitty waitressing jobs. the hours writing in your journal. the long meandering walks. the hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people's diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. these things are your becoming." (tiny beautiful things)

sometimes i need to refocus and remind myself of the fact that jesus has a plan, that he is sovereign, and that no time is wasted that is spend gazing upon him. maybe some of you need that reminder as well. 

so there you go: in all things God works for those who love him.