some seriously inspirational words.

i've become an absolute fan of cheryl strayed lately.
she is so inspiring.
i love her revealing, honest, beautiful words.
enjoy.

life is a journey.

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going. I cannot see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But, I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all I am doing. I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

                      -Thomas Merton   

via.

the tension between theory and reality

sorry for my absence around here. the last couple of weeks in england have been so busy. my parents picked me up and we spent a few days in the lakes and then travelled back to germany together. 

at the moment i am on a holiday with my brother in north-east germany. i never been to this part of germany and it is just beautiful. we are staying in a village where around 400 people live. we are surrounded by fields and you can hear no cars, just birds. the only downside is my stupid hayfever. but it is nice to have time to relax and read books that are not related to my degree.

but it is also been weird. after all this business i suddenly have time again to think, to worry, to doubt. and again and again i am haunted by the fear about making wrong decisions about choosing the wrong path. i wonder what it is that i want in life, what it is that i am here for. 

and then i think about being humble. that it might not matter that much what i want. what decision i make. but it is not easy to let it all go. and i think of a preach by andrew wilson i listened to recently - and wonder if these worries about my life are not completely individualist. (by the way i can really recommend listening to it - you can do that here)

i am reading "tiny, beautiful things" by cheryl strayed at the moment (read it. seriously, it's amazing.) and one of the things she says is that we often already know our truth. that we have the answers. that deep inside we know what to do, but that often we are to afraid - 'cause the right thing isn't always the easiest.

i read a post by one of my favourite bloggers this morning, anna from little reminders of love. it encouraged me to put my trust in god's plan for my life and the fact that he has it all in his hands. 

and i also was reassured that being terrified is probably part of life. i wonder if it gets better when you get older.