Happy 2016

happy new year everyone! 

i hope you all had a lovely christmas time and a fun new years eve. i spent a lot of time with my family and edd which was really nice.

the first of january is probably my favourite date as it feels like a new beginning, promises new opportunities and smells of new adventures.

i know that many people don't believe in resolutions but i quite like reflecting on what i achieved and what aims i have and what i want to focus my time on. i definitely would like to blog more! let's see how that goes...

a resolution i had last year was to spend more time reading as it is something i really enjoy and that inspires me. and i actually managed to read nearly 30 books (over 10000 pages! - i know this because i created an excel sheet...). one of these books was a biography about dietrich bonhoeffer written by eric metaxas.

i was very impressed by this book and i thought about it a lot after i finished it.
dietrich bonhoeffer was a german pastor and he lived during the third reich. he was part of a resistance movement - it's a long story (you should read it) but he ended up going to prison and was killed by the nazis one month before the war came to an end. he became very famous for his books and he also wrote some beautiful poetry. one of his poems is very fitting for today. it is originally written in german but i found a translation of a some of the verses. i find it extremely powerful especially thinking that bonhoeffer wrote these lines whilst in prison.
i hope it encourages you in these times in which our world seems to be so full of insecurity and threat. how good to know that we have a god who is in control and who is with us.

By gracious powers so wonderfully sheltered, and confidently waiting, come what may, we know that God is with us night and morning, and never fails to greet us each new day.  

Yet is this heart by its old foe tormented, still evil days bring burdens hard to bear; O give our frightened souls the sure salvation for which, O Lord, you taught us to prepare.  

And when this cup you give is filled to brimmingwith bitter sorrow, hard to understand, we take it thankfully and without trembling,out of so good and so beloved a hand.  

Yet when again in this same world you give us the joy we had, the brightness of your sun,we shall remember all the days we lived through, and our whole life shall then be yours alone.

Von guten Mächten treu und still umgeben,
Behütet und getröstet wunderbar,
So will ich diese Tage mit euch leben
Und mit euch gehen in ein neues Jahr. 

Noch will das alte unsre Herzen quälen,
Noch drückt uns böser Tage schwere Last.
Ach, Herr, gib unsern aufgeschreckten Seelen
Das Heil, für das du uns geschaffen hast. 

Und reichst du uns den schweren Kelch, den bittern
Des Leids, gefüllt bis an den höchsten Rand,
So nehmen wir ihn dankbar ohne Zittern
Aus deiner guten und geliebten Hand. 

Doch willst du uns noch einmal Freude schenken
An dieser Welt und ihrer Sonne Glanz,
Dann wolln wir des Vergangenen gedenken
Und dann gehört dir unser Leben ganz. 

Lass warm und hell die Kerzen heute flammen,
Die du in unsre Dunkelheit gebracht.
Führ, wenn es sein kann, wieder uns zusammen.
Wir wissen es, dein Licht scheint in der Nacht. 

Wenn sich die Stille nun tief um uns breitet,
So lass uns hören jenen vollen Klang
Der Welt, die unsichtbar sich um uns weitet,
All deiner Kinder hohen Lobgesang. 

Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen,
Erwarten wir getrost, was kommen mag.
Gott ist bei uns am Abend und am Morgen
Und ganz gewiss an jedem neuen Tag. 

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

a very blessed 2016 to you all. 

Tuesday Tunes | Wir sind Helden

wir sind helden has been one of my favourite bands for many years. i saw them live for the first time when i was 13 and have loved them ever since. judith holofernes, the singer writes extremely intelligent, funny and thoughtful lyrics. 

this song i am sharing today only started to appeal to me recently. i have been feeling quite homesick and a bit lost and the words of this song (it is titled 'bring me home') perfectly capture those feelings. 

happy tuesday.

German Sunday | Spaziergang

i love the german word for 'walk' - it is called spaziergang. it expresses more than just walking, it implies leisure. it doesn't merely describe a means of getting from one place to another but it is about walking for walking's sake, without necessarily a clear destination. if i hear someone telling me about a spaziergang i expect deep conversations and being lost deeply in thought, i see green valleys and woods and hear the birds singing. i dream of sitting on a bench with a book and stopping off for a drink or ice cream or cake. it makes me imagine lazy sundays, sunshine or rain and umbrellas.
it is a word that feels like a holiday.

being in your twenties

i had this quote written on my school folder (because i thought it to be original and ironic): 'i know that i know nothing'. i think back then i theoretically understood that as we learn more about a thing, the more we discover the vastness of knowledge that we not yet have. 

today this notion rings more true to me than ever. 
people say things like that your twenties are there to find out who you are and what you want and a time to ask questions and to find answers. i guess there is something to that.
however, so far my experience has been that as i have figured stuff out more, new problems presented themselves to me and one answer held ten new questions.
on some days i find that thrilling -- the idea that i am growing, yeah becoming - that feels important and exciting. other times i feel stressed by not knowing what i should do, how i should prioritise things, how much time i should invest into my friends near and far, how much should i worry about my career, about family planning about taking steps to fulfill my dreams. 
there is this little voice that tells me that really at this point i should know better what i want to do with my life, that i should have a plan, should have the next years mapped out  - after all, i don't want to wonder for years and years what i should do with my life and then never actually do anything. 

as i am writing this i get the impression that all this might be about accepting that mistakes are inevitable and that it is okay to get things wrong. 

and more than that it is about trusting God. to trust when i say to him, "here is my life, i don't know the way,  please lead me"  that he will guide my steps, that he is in control and that my existence is not an accident and that my life won't be wasted.

“it’s never too late to be who you might have been.” – george eliot

“a self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to a child, finished and complete. a self is always becoming.” –  madeleine l’engle

"for i know the plans i have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future." –  jeremiah 29:11

Tuesday Tunes | James Bay

after some time of absence (writer's block is a thing apparently) i am back with some music i have been listening too lately. i know that james bay is by no means a new discovery but i am finally jumping on the bandwagon!
as i have written about, i ran a half marathon on the first of november and james bay's album chaos and the calm was a great companion throughout my training sessions.
it is difficult to pick just one song so here is two of my favourites:

i find it deeply inspiring how much emotion, how much sound and melody this guy can create with just his voice and a guitar.
hopefully you all have a lovely tuesday!