Favourite Scribblings

                                                   

Tuesday 20 December 2011

Back home. More than happy. See you soon.

I arrived at home and it feels so good to have my family around me.
For the next three weeks I just want to spend time with them, my friends and Jesus.
Therefore I am planning to take a little time off from the internet.
If inspiration hits me I might blog anyway, I'll see.
If not, have a wonderful christmas all you my lovely blog readers.
See you in 2012.


Loving this song at the moment.

Because I am alive I give you my life.
Because I am free I bow at your feet.
Because I am loved I am able to love.
Because I am yours my world is secure.

Monday 19 December 2011

A Indie Lovestory...

If you want to indulge yourself these days, calm down after a hectic day and get inspired, listen to the debut album of Seryn.
It's absolutely beautiful.

Seryn - This Is Where We Are by Polar Stern on Grooveshark
Thank you God for creating music.
It makes life so much brighter.

Sunday 18 December 2011

In between

The first term is over. The university is deserted, almost everyone went back home to their families already.
I just finished writing my last essay, my bags are packed and I am ready to go home.
I have to wait two more days before I'll go back home.
It is nice to be here and to have no work and so be able to explore the town a bit more, to just watch a movie, write my diary, play the guitar.
But in my thoughts I am already back in Germany. Anticipating Christmas, planning dates with friends and skiing trips with my dad.
I'm somehow in between two homes.
Lately I often feel like being in between.
In between being adolescent and adult.
I am going my own way, living my dream, but I'm still not there.
And I don't even know where and how and what there is.
This state is a tad scary but I like it. Everything is wide open.
And I am excited for the future.
But equally - or even more - I am excited about the here and now.

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Cross-ways

I have a very good friend, her name is Miriam. We met in 5th grade and ever since we have been best friends. We sat next to each other in every class and I think our teachers were very annoyed with us because we talked and talked and talked.
I like to think back to these days, we had such fun times and I think there really is no one who makes me laugh like she does. We also had really deep conversations about god and life and she was one of the few people I could actually tell things and she just got it.
Well, one day, I don't know about what we were talking exactly, but she said:

"Accept the situation, make a decision, and then bear the consequences."

This advice stuck with me.
Sometimes I am in a situation and I am not entirely sure what to do, so I just stay passive and see how things turn out instead of thinking what seems right to do, take action and make a decision.
And then live by it.
I guess this is part of growing up - living responsibly.
Think, than do.
Still not too good at this.
And I must say often it is no fun. Some decisions are hurtful.
And bearing the consequences can be very tiring.
But the consequences of being passive are often worse.
And the certainty to do the right thing, even if it is uncomfortable, helps a lot.

Monday 5 December 2011

i am on my way back to where i started



this song feels like a hug to my soul.

Saturday 3 December 2011

My words.

Tonight I sat down to write a poem.
The last couple of days I have felt the words swelling inside of me.
I knew that very soon, they'd burst out.

And so, I sat down at my desk and as soon as I picked up a pen, it scratched over the paper almost by itself.
And it felt so good.
But then I made a mistake. Or, actually two mistakes.
Instead of letting the words heal me, release me from what was pressing so heavy on my chest, I let myself be overwhelmed with anger and a dash of bitterness. I wanted to use the poem to expose weakness, to take vengeance.
And then, even worse - I tried to sound like somebody else.
I used words that are not mine.

Suddenly I was afraid of this intimate moment between me and the words, this moment when the words uncover what I was trying to hide from myself.
But this made me realise, that words are my answer.
They are my way out. Out of confusion. Out of fear. Out of depression.

And at the same time they are an entrance to a whole new world.