It's only Thursday, but I feel like it should be Sunday -
this week is so long.
It was full of studying and procrastination.
Affected by the wish for more respect.
More politeness. More gentlemen.
More people who are nice without ulterior motives.
More warmth, more sun.
One of those weeks, where I rather want to sleep than be awake.
But in weeks like this, there's music.
Music that soothes my soul, refreshes my mind, strengthens my living will.
And there is this voice inside me,
telling me that life may not be easy but that I can do it.
And there is Meg Fee writing about happiness.
"Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not."
Seufzend stehen wir im englischen Regen
und reden
nach ein paar Monaten Unileben
da vermisst man sie eben
die Familie.
Du erzählst mir, wie toll doch Deine Mutter sei
selbstlos hält sie Deinem Vater den Rücken frei
damit er draußen in der Welt
als Held
Abenteuer bestreiten kann.
Abends empfängt sie ihn munter und frisch
das Haus ist geputzt, seine Hemden gebügelt, das Essen auf dem Tisch
mit offenen Armen.
Ich erzähle Dir, dass ich keinen Helden den Rücken freihalten möchte
ich will selbst einer sein.
Tja, sagst Du, dann bleibst Du wohl allein.
... Getting packages in the mail from my lovely family.
This morning I got up at 7:40, got dressed and did my laundry.
I rewarded myself for being so productive first thing in the morning with a really good breakfast. Sitting in my room, sipping coffee, reading my favorite blog, hearing beethoven and the feeling of having a whole new day ahead of me made me incredibly happy.
I guess it's the little things in life that make a big difference.
Tuesday I came back to Lancaster.
I love this city, I love University, I love the independence I have here.
But I swear, I never felt so homesick.
Those three weeks at home were so genial.
Having my mum or my brother wake me up in the morning, eating breakfast together with the family at a nicely set table in our living room, cooking in our kitchen with the view on the river rhine and having all the fancy ingredients on hand that I want to use.
Walking a few blocks to watch "Flecki mein Freund" with my best friend and her sister, going to electro partys and dancing the night away - all that feels like pure luxury to me now and I miss it so much.
Don't get me wrong - I love my life here. It is just sometimes easier to be at home, being the "little princess", secure and protected.
But I chose and I am choosing again to be here. To grow up. To be thankful for what a good life I have, in Germany and England. And for having two homes.